Heat and punch ups

Yesterday was hot, maybe not by american standards but for the english ... its was hot, i only had time to look at the thermometer once in the morning because we were rushed off our feet but it said 25 degrees c at like 9am which is like 77 fahrenheit, and im sure it got worse. Today i am told is the hottest day of the year (i guess they mean so far otherwise we've got a miserable summer to look forward to) its 28 degrees c (82 F), im not enjoying it, my mum owns one very small fan which frankly does absolutely nothing. Anyway yesterday, being a hot day, i had to work, because stupid people like to spend hot days labouring out in a field just to get a few raspberrys (why?! just go to tescos) so i was in the shop from 9am till closing (5.15, but we managed to chuck everyone out by half 6, so thats when Mabel offered me a lift home). I really need to get a new job, working there is slowly killing me, dont get me wrong, im totally not afraid of hard work in fact i relish a challenge, the summer i finished school i had three jobs, i woke up at 4am to get to the bakery at 5.30 worked until 9.30 then had to get to the farm by 10 to work until 5.30/6, except on mondays (because by law you cant work more than 6 days in a row) when i did my two paper rounds - big ones ... i delievered thousands of newspapers.

Anyway thats off of the topic, i can stand at a till or run around doing stuff in a shop for 9 hours straight no problem and the people that own the place and the people who work there are absolutely lovely, its just the customers, theyre the combination of all the things i hate about people, lying and stealing, throwing your rubbish all over the place and screaming at people, not teaching your children right from wrong, not diciplining them and then yelling at them and hitting them. I find it really hard to deal with, but sometimes you just have to put up with this stuff, we dont live in a perfect society. However yesterday really bothered me, the farm has a minimum charge thing which is nothing but hassle but its there because people go in and eat all the fruit and then try to leave without paying, people bring their twenty kids with them and do it, id be a bit sympathetic if i thought these were poor people who couldnt afford food but they can, because they try to buy 20 ice creams when they leave and whip out a huge wad of 50's to do so. Anyway this turkish woman was yelling at me for charging her for her and her 7 kids, i dont mean just talking loudly i mean up in my face, pushing me, type thing, well im stubborn, and as i said i hate people lying and stealing and getting away with stuff when the rest of society has to pay the price for it, so i was arguing back, maybe slightly unprofessional but i was in the right, anyway it got very heated and luckily Stephen stepped in because i was very close to punching the woman, like two seconds away.

Unfortunately i didnt get fired, and the woman did give in and pay the money and because my bosses are so nice they were appologising to me for letting me get in that situation.
But thats still not the point, my point is, im a nice person (its okay you dont have to agree), im kind and thoughtful and i care way too much about other people, but even Amy was amazed when she came to visit me at Kstate and only saw that side of me, she was shocked that i didnt get mad at things like i always have, i was the worst 3 year old you could imagine and ive been beating up my brother for a good 17 years (only in the last year has he been strong enough to fight back) what im saying is i have a really bad temper and when im under stress im horribly moody and just a terrible person to be around. Maybe i was moody at times during the past year but if you had known me before you really wouldnt recognise me im sure of it. But now im back living at my mums house its all the same as it ever was, and whereas i kinda used to like working at the farm because it gave me a reason to get mad at people and vent now it horrifies me that i can get that heated and out of control.