Sunday, November 30, 2008
Real Men
Urgh! im really fed up with silly little boys (i had to give myself 20 minutes before i started to write this because i was a tad annoyed). Once again the oven has fused itself (Alec did it a couple of weeks ago - he wouldnt tell me how but a spark came off of the hob apparently and he couldnt figure out how to get the oven to work again so he just left it, i came down in the morning and flipped the fuse back on .... *rolls eyes* the word 'life experience' springs into my head, the second time Liam did it - i think he burnt something onto the hob and didnt bother to clean it off before using it, and Barry almost did it the other day when he turned the top on but the wrong one and there was a empty saucepan on that ring - to his credit he was distracted because he was washing up at the time) Liam fused it earlier when he almost set the fire alarm off for the 6th time in 3 months by once again letting something burn and flow over the side of the pan onto the electric hob (horrible smell, smoke etc). Although apparently this time it wont go back on, i went up to my room to avoid the smell but i could hear Liam talking (and laughing) very loudly to Alec downstairs and then phoning the Landlord to tell him, neither of them thought to change the fuse, he then came up to my room to tell me (in an almost proud way - how is that something to boast about?) Now dont get me wrong none of this bothered me really - id already eaten dinner so it doesnt matter that its not working right now and at least he phoned up the landlord to get it sorted, the thing that bugged me was that he didnt take respondsability for his actions. He came into my room and told me and i asked him what he'd done to fuse it and he said "it wasnt me! i didnt do anything" which is just dumb - he was the only person cooking when it happend and he knows i saw what happened, so why lie?! (it was a rhetorical question if anything) and when i pointed out that he must have done something because it wouldnt have fused by itself he was still adament. Its such a little kid thing to do, flat out deny something even when you're standing there with chocolate all over your face, his 21, its just ridiculous now. Like yesterday someone left the hob on all night (didnt burn the house down - possibly a contribution to the downward turn of the oven though) and everyone knew it was Liam, mainly because he was drunk when he was making dinner and because the ring that was left on was one i never use (im also extremely paranoid about leaving the oven on so i make sure i check to turn it off) and it blatently wasnt Alec because he only ever blasts things in the microwave or has chips in the oven, such is his diet (and i know he had chips last night because there was a ketchup stained plate this morning) and i was there when Liam started using the oven. Yet when i told him (not in an accusing way btw) he swore blind that it definately wasnt him, why?! what does that achieve? i know for a fact it was, and i dont really care who it was it just means we have to be more careful next time, what am i going to do? No-one has any authority over anyone in this house so why would you bother lying?!?! I really dont like stupid child like behaviour in grown men (i dont really want to call them men because to be a man you have to act like it), its like the whole dismissing everything i say as ridiculous thing that Alec does (maybe because im a woman? maybe because he doesnt respect me? who knows) yet when Liam says exactly the same thing he follows every word of it, its actually pretty humourous, he may as well start worshipping at Liams feet. And the whole feeling the need to swear after every word, or be particularly blasphemous when im around even though he knows i dont appreciate it, isnt that just a respect thing? Men respect other people, even people they dont like, they dont pass the buck just to save their own butts, they take responsibility for their actions, they're mature, they do things because the realise they need to be done not because they are told to do them. Boys are still learning this stuff.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Project update
Project update.
Its saturday morning, 9.43am, i am sitting in the LRC at a computer (and have been since sunrise i.e. around 8.40am) starting my project. Well heres the deal, project days start properly on tuesday, thats when we get lab time, but im doing a bioinformatics practical, so i can pretty much do lab work whenever i can get to a computer. So i figured it would be a good idea to do a few test runs of this thing, hence me being in the library so early in the morning, its crazily quiet (only 3 people so far) and im trying to blast the nucleotide sequences, then put a couple into ClustalW in the fasta format and see how they are the same, found a niffty little thing on Ensembl though which seems to have already done the MSA (multiple sequence alignments) for me, with all 32 species .... which could be pretty useful, need to check its right though.
Its saturday morning, 9.43am, i am sitting in the LRC at a computer (and have been since sunrise i.e. around 8.40am) starting my project. Well heres the deal, project days start properly on tuesday, thats when we get lab time, but im doing a bioinformatics practical, so i can pretty much do lab work whenever i can get to a computer. So i figured it would be a good idea to do a few test runs of this thing, hence me being in the library so early in the morning, its crazily quiet (only 3 people so far) and im trying to blast the nucleotide sequences, then put a couple into ClustalW in the fasta format and see how they are the same, found a niffty little thing on Ensembl though which seems to have already done the MSA (multiple sequence alignments) for me, with all 32 species .... which could be pretty useful, need to check its right though.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
You're my God my King
Do words like "Lord" and "King" work in the context of God when we use them these days?
Expressing what God really is (worth-wise) is a bit of a tricky one anyway, saying "God is awesome" just doesnt really express enough how truly magnificent He is, none of our words really can, even if you decide on the best word to express infinite magnificence you could still call a human that so God is a ridiculous amount above that. So i guess back in the day calling God your Lord or King made sense, a person who rules over you and ultimately decides how you live your life, its not a bad description really. But does it work in 2008? The term King to me denotes an unelected scrounger whose status exists because the masses choose not to revolt against him, someone whose income depends on the masses, performs services to the country (shakes hands of important people of other countries) but ultimately has hardly any authority or power (unless we are talking about killing swans or getting people out of prison) and is not overly well liked. The word Lord makes me think of a fat posh toff who has been given this role either through inheritance or under the table bribes. I guess that might just be because im British though, would it mean anything at all to me if i was American? So using the words Lord or King to mean God dont really say what im wanting them to say. Apparently the word "Lord" comes from an old english word meaning "bread keeper", back from the old custom of a superior providing food for his followers (thanks Wikipedia), that seems more like what i mean. How has the word changed so much in meaning from what it used to be?
Expressing what God really is (worth-wise) is a bit of a tricky one anyway, saying "God is awesome" just doesnt really express enough how truly magnificent He is, none of our words really can, even if you decide on the best word to express infinite magnificence you could still call a human that so God is a ridiculous amount above that. So i guess back in the day calling God your Lord or King made sense, a person who rules over you and ultimately decides how you live your life, its not a bad description really. But does it work in 2008? The term King to me denotes an unelected scrounger whose status exists because the masses choose not to revolt against him, someone whose income depends on the masses, performs services to the country (shakes hands of important people of other countries) but ultimately has hardly any authority or power (unless we are talking about killing swans or getting people out of prison) and is not overly well liked. The word Lord makes me think of a fat posh toff who has been given this role either through inheritance or under the table bribes. I guess that might just be because im British though, would it mean anything at all to me if i was American? So using the words Lord or King to mean God dont really say what im wanting them to say. Apparently the word "Lord" comes from an old english word meaning "bread keeper", back from the old custom of a superior providing food for his followers (thanks Wikipedia), that seems more like what i mean. How has the word changed so much in meaning from what it used to be?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Mark 16:15
Yesterday i was complaining about people making constant jabs at me for my beliefs, which is annoying when it happens because people rarely want to sit and discuss the matter long enough for you to explain what it really is that you believe and why you believe that, they are just interested in the comic potential it holds. However its shown that i need to rely on God more, knowing that whatever is happening He will use to His glory in the end. Yesterday i put my annoyance into a facebook status (as you do), which lead Stuart to speak to me today, asking if i was a christian (even though he saw me at the Freshers Fair by the CU - christian union - table and we had an indepth conversation about me believing in God then), we've been discussing God and Jesus and evolution and a million and one other things for over an hour, which has made me ridiculously happy, i got a chance to share my faith!! yay!! Okay sure Stu went back to his dissertation mostly unchanged in his opinions, but it was so great to actually find someone who was interested, and wanted to discuss instead of insult.
How can i share my faith when no one is prepared to listen?
How can i share my faith when no one is prepared to listen?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Yay!
YAY, and with a kick of my heels i said a cheery "Good Morning!!" to the lovely reception lady and handed her my essay and enquired as to whether my molecular medicine logbook was back, it was and she wished me luck. I didnt need it, Heddwyn wasnt ever likely to give me anything different than Ralphs grade so 4.5/5% it is! A darn good start to my final grade (you have to bare in mind this is England and they will never give anyone a 5 because perfection is very unlikely). Now after i visit the lab to check on my culture of Staph (at least we think thats what caused Mr Carpenters abcess) later i will be free to enjoy the day! woo hoo!!! Good times.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
1,200/2,000
Its 4.45pm on Sunday evening (i wouldnt normally say 4pm is the evening but winter must be here because its pitch black outside), I am sitting in the LRC staring at my essay entitled "discuss the potential of siRNA is treating human diseases"
I have many words written but its not finished yet, and im starting to lose the motivation to finish it tonight, 1,200 /2,000 words done and i havent even got into the huge scope of limitations and then my mamoth conclusion yet, i think im going to have a chop it up a bit, which is a crying shame because i have a precise introduction explaining everything you need to know
and then managed to sync into the process quite nicely and then gave two stinking good examples of the clinical trials (i think ill add a small segway about neurodegenerative diseases and cancer in too) all in under 1,000 words. It wont be the best essay ive ever written thats for sure. So instead i am occassionally staring at a review paper called 'interfering with disease: a progress report on siRNA-based therapeutics' (a very handy little number i found late last night), playing internet games and staring out of the huge window at the horrible weather that awaits me when i decide to give up on this and head home (its raining ... a lot). On the plus side there is a slice of pizza awaiting me and two new arm chairs (the landlord gave us this morning so now no one has to sit on the floor). The essay is due friday, and i have tuesday, wednesday and thursday off so im thinking i could finish it then ....
I guess i am always thinking 'itll be better once ive done this', not just the essay but everything in life, itll be better once i graduate, itll be better once i finish this class, itll be better when i move out of home, itll be better once im married, but im continually aiming for something that doesnt get realised, the best times are the ones waiting for that thing to happen. I will finish the essay and then ill be just as stressed out about something new, or even worse ill be bored because i wont be sure what to spend my time doing (not likely but a possiblity). Subconciously i know this. I guess ill brave the weather and read this review at home on the new chair, with my pizza ..... and the guys distracting me.
I have many words written but its not finished yet, and im starting to lose the motivation to finish it tonight, 1,200 /2,000 words done and i havent even got into the huge scope of limitations and then my mamoth conclusion yet, i think im going to have a chop it up a bit, which is a crying shame because i have a precise introduction explaining everything you need to know
and then managed to sync into the process quite nicely and then gave two stinking good examples of the clinical trials (i think ill add a small segway about neurodegenerative diseases and cancer in too) all in under 1,000 words. It wont be the best essay ive ever written thats for sure. So instead i am occassionally staring at a review paper called 'interfering with disease: a progress report on siRNA-based therapeutics' (a very handy little number i found late last night), playing internet games and staring out of the huge window at the horrible weather that awaits me when i decide to give up on this and head home (its raining ... a lot). On the plus side there is a slice of pizza awaiting me and two new arm chairs (the landlord gave us this morning so now no one has to sit on the floor). The essay is due friday, and i have tuesday, wednesday and thursday off so im thinking i could finish it then ....
I guess i am always thinking 'itll be better once ive done this', not just the essay but everything in life, itll be better once i graduate, itll be better once i finish this class, itll be better when i move out of home, itll be better once im married, but im continually aiming for something that doesnt get realised, the best times are the ones waiting for that thing to happen. I will finish the essay and then ill be just as stressed out about something new, or even worse ill be bored because i wont be sure what to spend my time doing (not likely but a possiblity). Subconciously i know this. I guess ill brave the weather and read this review at home on the new chair, with my pizza ..... and the guys distracting me.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I had never ...
So i am talking to Stu (he is putting off writing his speech) who was looking through my photos and said (and i quote) "you are too cool for school mrs" (oh yeah thats me).
But it made me think of all the stuff i did last year that ive never done before
Its like one of those poems
Before i lived in America i had never ....
Rode a jetski, owned chickens, been on a roadtrip across the States, been in a casino, dressed up on halloween, eaten smores, stayed in a snow covered cottage in the mountains, celebrated thanksgiving, drove in another country, seen a shuttlecock that was taller than me, seen a man bucked from a horse, had best friends that were Australian, Mexican or American, been around when a ice storm hit, or a tornado, been a part of a murder mystery play, got univeristy credit for fencing, spent my easter holidays on a missions trip delivering easter baskets and tidying peoples gardens, been baptized, spent every sunday surrounded by friends, hiked for miles at sunrise, pulled a emergency shower cord just to see what happened ...
what else?
But it made me think of all the stuff i did last year that ive never done before
Its like one of those poems
Before i lived in America i had never ....
Rode a jetski, owned chickens, been on a roadtrip across the States, been in a casino, dressed up on halloween, eaten smores, stayed in a snow covered cottage in the mountains, celebrated thanksgiving, drove in another country, seen a shuttlecock that was taller than me, seen a man bucked from a horse, had best friends that were Australian, Mexican or American, been around when a ice storm hit, or a tornado, been a part of a murder mystery play, got univeristy credit for fencing, spent my easter holidays on a missions trip delivering easter baskets and tidying peoples gardens, been baptized, spent every sunday surrounded by friends, hiked for miles at sunrise, pulled a emergency shower cord just to see what happened ...
what else?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Brilliant! Just don't mention the war
More project news
Ah good times, i just had a meeting with Ela to discuss my project, it turned out Andreas was free too so we went down to his office, the hilarity of it all, incase you dont know who these people are i will fill you in - Andreas is very German, he has the kind of accent people pull out when they are pretending to be German. He also looks like you would expect a protein scientist to look, balding, glasses, smart and proper .... like i said he is very German. Ela is from somewhere in Europe ... not quite sure where (Holland?), she has an awesome accent, its soft and flows, it would be quite easy to fall asleep in her lecture if she didnt make learning so fun (interactive games and such). Anyway, i was the only English person in the room (big contrast to the meeting with Tim - Tim is how i imagine a true English gent to be, i would be very surprised if he doesnt enjoy playing cricket at weekends.) It was great. Both are really lovely people and im really pumped about this project. Its pretty much going to be luck if i come out with any actual findings but they have ridiculously huge implications if i do.
Ah good times, i just had a meeting with Ela to discuss my project, it turned out Andreas was free too so we went down to his office, the hilarity of it all, incase you dont know who these people are i will fill you in - Andreas is very German, he has the kind of accent people pull out when they are pretending to be German. He also looks like you would expect a protein scientist to look, balding, glasses, smart and proper .... like i said he is very German. Ela is from somewhere in Europe ... not quite sure where (Holland?), she has an awesome accent, its soft and flows, it would be quite easy to fall asleep in her lecture if she didnt make learning so fun (interactive games and such). Anyway, i was the only English person in the room (big contrast to the meeting with Tim - Tim is how i imagine a true English gent to be, i would be very surprised if he doesnt enjoy playing cricket at weekends.) It was great. Both are really lovely people and im really pumped about this project. Its pretty much going to be luck if i come out with any actual findings but they have ridiculously huge implications if i do.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Project update
Woo hoo!!! Am making progress, today was a great day, essay is getting written (not finished but is getting somewhere) Ela emailed me back about the project and its just been an all round lovely day. (Have been speaking to Weston on msn for a couple of hours now, it could well be that too.) I now have my final project title (no switching now this is a keeper)
"Searching for interacting regions within huntingtin and its partner proteins using correlated mutation analysis."
I'm going to be identifying sequences, finding conserved regions that have changed throughout evolution, looking for correlated mutations, basically im furthering research into revealing the function of huntingtin. (A protein associated with Huntingtons Disease).
Awesomeness!
Now i need to email Andreas ...
"Searching for interacting regions within huntingtin and its partner proteins using correlated mutation analysis."
I'm going to be identifying sequences, finding conserved regions that have changed throughout evolution, looking for correlated mutations, basically im furthering research into revealing the function of huntingtin. (A protein associated with Huntingtons Disease).
Awesomeness!
Now i need to email Andreas ...
Friday, November 7, 2008
Project progress
Emailed Tim on monday morning asking about possibility of bioinfomatics project, Tim emailed back an hour later saying basically 'sure! but email Steve because i dont know anything about it'. Emailed Steve two seconds later. 3 hours later, reply from Steve "email Rachel Fox" or something to that affect. Emailed Rachel 2 seconds later. No reply. Visited Rachels office at 5.30pm (after class) she was just leaving but had quick chat, some things got suggested and she was supposed to email me. Tuesday - no email, Wednesday - no email, Thursday - no email, Emailed Rachel Thursday afternoon - was sick of waiting. Reply from Rachel Friday morning "Email Steve" or something to this affect. Emailed Steve 2 seconds later. Two hours later, reply from Steve "Project being sorted - Email Ela about title and info then Andreas who will supervise the project" Two seconds later, emailed Ela. Am awaiting reply.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A weeks worth of news
So whats happening this week?
Friday was halloween, with very predictable lack of trick or treaters as usual (at both mums house and 28 Deerswood). Saturday saw Amys present giving (her birthday had been and gone but she was in Tooting) along with Lolas 1st birthday (the real reason she came back to Enfield i assume). Sunday saw Lewis Hamilton get the fifth place he needed in F1, with mixed reactions (Lucy was very happy but the guys were cheering on Massa because Hamilton is an arrogant .... man). Yesterday saw a potential change in project again (there is a possibility for a Huntingtons genetic bioinformatics project that i am extremely excited about) and today everyone is talking about the US elections. Theres no point asking me who i would vote for, im not american, and if i were american i would probably have a different outlook to the one i have right now so i might vote differently, so it seems a silly question, my priorities as an English person are different to the priorities of America. Anyway it seems like the rest of the world wants Obama to win, as always people are easily overwhelmed by charisma and this guy has it in bucketloads, even if everything else he says is a load of rubbish, it makes me wonder if his spin doctors could actually write him a speach that didnt contain the word "change" and if they did what would be left?? The BBC seems very much to be on his side, satrical news programmes not even contemplating the idea that McCain might win, its taken as a given in, his 72 and its a bit of a joke, the other party had to have a candidate, this one will do. Little Britain (the television comedy) has a spin off called Little Britain USA or something along those lines where they do the usual gay prime minister gag except the gay guy is now the prime minister (because Blair has been thrown out and Brown is now in power) and he has meetings with the President - a young black guy .... yup the BBC knows who it would have voted for. It makes me laugh when people say "people wont vote for Obama because his black, i would have voted for him, its about time they had a black president" A statement still ridiculously racist. Are people really voting for someone because of their skin colour over policies?? whether it sways your vote for or against it doesnt matter its still racism, colour has nothing to do with it, nor does sex, these are just gimicks. However the charisma factor does remind me of the attitude when Blair became Prime minister, he was young and charismatic, everyone loved him, he said the right things at the right time, but this cant go on forever, the media wont love you eternally, one day things will go wrong, spectactually wrong, so is life. A great turn out so far though, it seems everyone has an opinion about this historic decision, the same decision in England would be met with much greater lethargy, voter turn outs are extremely low, because people dont like either party and if they did prefer one they assume none of their policies would be put into action anyway because politicians lie, so why bother? Kayleighs explanation of why she doesnt use the vote which women fought so hard to get her was that when a party comes along with policies she actually agrees with she will vote for them but shes not going to vote for the lesser of two evils because they are still after all an evil, (or something to that effect), contraversal maybe but i hope it makes Kayleigh happy that i got her name in here.
So i guess we will wait and see what happens, be McCain or Obama, England will be celebrating with fireworks tomorrow.
Friday was halloween, with very predictable lack of trick or treaters as usual (at both mums house and 28 Deerswood). Saturday saw Amys present giving (her birthday had been and gone but she was in Tooting) along with Lolas 1st birthday (the real reason she came back to Enfield i assume). Sunday saw Lewis Hamilton get the fifth place he needed in F1, with mixed reactions (Lucy was very happy but the guys were cheering on Massa because Hamilton is an arrogant .... man). Yesterday saw a potential change in project again (there is a possibility for a Huntingtons genetic bioinformatics project that i am extremely excited about) and today everyone is talking about the US elections. Theres no point asking me who i would vote for, im not american, and if i were american i would probably have a different outlook to the one i have right now so i might vote differently, so it seems a silly question, my priorities as an English person are different to the priorities of America. Anyway it seems like the rest of the world wants Obama to win, as always people are easily overwhelmed by charisma and this guy has it in bucketloads, even if everything else he says is a load of rubbish, it makes me wonder if his spin doctors could actually write him a speach that didnt contain the word "change" and if they did what would be left?? The BBC seems very much to be on his side, satrical news programmes not even contemplating the idea that McCain might win, its taken as a given in, his 72 and its a bit of a joke, the other party had to have a candidate, this one will do. Little Britain (the television comedy) has a spin off called Little Britain USA or something along those lines where they do the usual gay prime minister gag except the gay guy is now the prime minister (because Blair has been thrown out and Brown is now in power) and he has meetings with the President - a young black guy .... yup the BBC knows who it would have voted for. It makes me laugh when people say "people wont vote for Obama because his black, i would have voted for him, its about time they had a black president" A statement still ridiculously racist. Are people really voting for someone because of their skin colour over policies?? whether it sways your vote for or against it doesnt matter its still racism, colour has nothing to do with it, nor does sex, these are just gimicks. However the charisma factor does remind me of the attitude when Blair became Prime minister, he was young and charismatic, everyone loved him, he said the right things at the right time, but this cant go on forever, the media wont love you eternally, one day things will go wrong, spectactually wrong, so is life. A great turn out so far though, it seems everyone has an opinion about this historic decision, the same decision in England would be met with much greater lethargy, voter turn outs are extremely low, because people dont like either party and if they did prefer one they assume none of their policies would be put into action anyway because politicians lie, so why bother? Kayleighs explanation of why she doesnt use the vote which women fought so hard to get her was that when a party comes along with policies she actually agrees with she will vote for them but shes not going to vote for the lesser of two evils because they are still after all an evil, (or something to that effect), contraversal maybe but i hope it makes Kayleigh happy that i got her name in here.
So i guess we will wait and see what happens, be McCain or Obama, England will be celebrating with fireworks tomorrow.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
A bit of an explanation
Just in case you were wondering.
Yesterday morning i deactivated facebook for good. Unfortunately it was a bit spare-of-the-moment so i didnt let anyone know before hand (so there was no big farewell from facebook party - you all would have been invited). Facebook is ever so slightly addictive when you cant see your friends everyday and at the moment there are a lot more important things i should be concentrating on than talking to people i went to primary school with. So fear not, i still love you all, and i miss you a ridiculous amount and if anyone wants to email me or add me on msn then please go ahead (sophie_pinwill@hotmail.com). But hopefully i wont be back on facebook until May (... maybe).
Yesterday morning i deactivated facebook for good. Unfortunately it was a bit spare-of-the-moment so i didnt let anyone know before hand (so there was no big farewell from facebook party - you all would have been invited). Facebook is ever so slightly addictive when you cant see your friends everyday and at the moment there are a lot more important things i should be concentrating on than talking to people i went to primary school with. So fear not, i still love you all, and i miss you a ridiculous amount and if anyone wants to email me or add me on msn then please go ahead (sophie_pinwill@hotmail.com). But hopefully i wont be back on facebook until May (... maybe).
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