I strongly dislike not having a laptop to write these thoughts down as soon as they come to mind, its quite annoying and im sure i have missed out half of the cool stuff because i left it so long. Anywho, a thought popped into my head the other night. I've been reading 'Disappointment with God' recently and maybe thats what brought this on but i was thinking about the kind of love i have for God. Its a hard thing to think on because there are all these different types of love God is supposed to have for us and i dont really understand how they fit together, how can he feel a parental type of love and love for us as a wife at the same time? And i thought .... im not sure that is the type of love i experience, does these mean im not doing things right? am i experiencing God in the wrong way? I was thinking about the different ways i feel about people and none of them really explain it well enough. The best way i can describe it is like this -
The first time I meet a new born baby I cant help but smile, it doesnt have to move an inch but it will make me happy and make me want to be around it and hug it and smell it and do things that make no sense at all like look after something that just poops on you or cries at you. And this is other peoples children. When i hold a newborn baby that is actually related to me my heart breaks a little bit when i have to give them back to their parents, imagine what i will feel like towards my own offspring?! Mothers say things like 'I would die for him' and i believe it, its a whole new level of loving someone, you wont realise how much your mum loved you until you feel that love for your baby. Well thats the love i feel for God, from the first moment i was introduced to Him I wanted to always be around Him, to make Him happy and see His smile, i dont need to feel that protective love but sometimes i do and im certain i would die for Him.