Journal Day One

Sophie's Journal Day one

I arrived in Loughborough, Literally i got off of a plane on thursday, took all of my clothes out of my suitcase on friday, washed them all and then put them all back in the suitcase, got the train on saturday morning and arrived here at around 2 in the afternoon, Yirang met me at the train station and helped me find my way to the house, Yirang is lovely, she helped me take my stuff up to my bedroom (Her and Elena are sharing the bedroom on the third floor at the moment because the one next to mine has a mold problem) She showed me the rota, helped me set up my wireless, made me a cup of tea, organised a meeting with the hoist expert for me. Yeah shes pretty cool. When i got to the house Naomi, Flo, Elena and Pao were there, they all seem nice, Flo unfortunately was on her way to the train station, she was flying back to Costa Rica, I am taking over from her, Pao and Naomi were travelling in to London for the night to meet up with some friends, so i spent the evening hanging out with Elena and Yirang, we went to the shop and got some food and Elena seems to have eaten the majority of hers already, i have no idea how she is still so skinny, but i guess it was pretty healthy food, then we watched tv. It was nice, really relaxing, not really what id expected i guess.

When i was lying in bed that night i started to think about how God was looking out for me, let me get something straight here - i was terrified of this whole situation before i got here, hey i was still terrified on the train, but as soon as i met Yirang i felt this sense of calm, and then i was okay, isnt that strange? I pretty much only came here because thats what i felt God was telling me to do, God knows me, He knows that if there is any other option i will probably wimp out and take it instead of doing the hard thing which he is asking me to do, So pretty much things seem to go like this, things are orchestrated so that not doing this thing would be much worse than doing it. Like in second year going in to the final year of uni was the worse thing that could happen to me the thought of it made me feel sick and i really had no peace with it at all, and God used that as a way to make me go to Kansas so that i would finally see Him. When i got back to England i could suddenly cope with being in the final year, i finally had peace with it. Then that year doing the dissertation was the scariest thing ever, the one i had been given i just couldnt see how it was going to work (and it turns out it wouldnt have) i really had no peace on it at all and i was freaking out big time, so i asked to change subject and miraculously it worked out - i got this awesome subject, that i actually did some great stuff with, i got a great result and degree because of it, i got a great project tutor, but the point is, i physically couldnt have not changed, if i had been okay with the subject i had and God had said to me - you need to change it, it will be better if you do - i dont think i would have been able to. Well moving here was like that, i was so depressed before i went to Manhattan for those few weeks, i had no job and no prospects, i really didnt feel that i could do anything, and i wonder if i hadnt been a christian at that time what would have happened. Anyway, when i came back i was pretty nervous and was considering not coming but the thing is what else would i have done? I would have gone back to being the person i was before, no job and no prospects, i physically couldnt stay were i was, so i had to listen and go, i realise it isnt a test of faith when you have no option whether to go or not, but i wonder if its a progression up to that, baby steps, as i dont have the foundations yet, maybe if id grown up with this or always been around people who knew God then i would be able to see that when God asks you to do something He always provides, but i dont know that for certain yet ... so maybe this is an introduction into that?

I was also thinking this - before i left i was thinking i really dont get along with English girls that easily, i get on with some English girls just fine but they are a few special ones, i get along with english guys just fine ... dont ask me why. So the thought of being stuck in a house with 3 other random girls was kinda daunting, but God provides and He knows me, the other 3 girls in the house are all international, Columbia, South Korea and Germany. I feel like God has prepared me to be around international people, my friends throughout uni have been for various places around the globe - Egypt, Hong Kong, the Philipines, India, China, then i go abroad and i am an international student - so i know how it feels to be away from your homeland and i make more friends from various countries - America, Australia, Czech republic, Germany, France, Italy, Mexico, Peru, so God was preparing me for this before i could have even imagined it would happen, which makes me wonder what he is preparing me for in the future that i cant even imagine happening yet? Why am i being introduced to all of these nations now? is there something in that? or is this so that i can sympathise with people from around the world and know that He is doing great things everywhere?
It seems like all of the things i was worrying about He has already sorted out for me, what will i do in my spare time? Elena mentioned going to the gym with her - which ive been wanting to do for ages but have never had anyone to go with, ive wanted to learn more about theology since i got back from the states but never had anytime, it seems like some of the others are doing courses in various things so maybe this is the ideal opportunity, im not a fan of cooking but it seems like neither are the others, i was worried about whether i should go to church today or whether i should wait in and see what everyone else is doing because its just my second day and they might wonder where i went - i prayed and gave it to God and said if its meant to be you will guide me and show me where to go and if im not supposed to go this week then you will make that so, well i dont know where the key for the door is ... so i cant actually get out of the house until i see one, so i guess God answered that question for me. Naomi got a pet snake last week, this wasnt a worry but it made me laugh that it managed to escape already, twice in fact, they found it again once but then it escaped again and is now on the loose in the house somewhere, ive not seen it but i guess it will turn up eventually.

Im not homesick, but i am still a little nervous, but i know this is normal, i just need to get to that point like i did when i moved to America where things were okay again, and then eventually better than they were ever before, i can wait for that.