I am constantly scared, not of anything in particular, more just of life. Normal things that 'normal' people are scared of, spiders, snakes, the dark, the thought of rats nibbling at your feet whilst you are hand cuffed to a wall unable to get away, im not scared of (okay maybe im a little scared of that last one) but life in general terrifies me. I'm a wuss and i admit it, *stands up* my name is Sophie and i am a wuss (the first step is admitting it, right?). I sometimes wonder if this 'wussyness' (for want of a better word) holds me back from doing the things God has planned for my life, if He told me to go a ghetto somewhere and stand up and tell people about Jesus would I do it? (actually that thought doesnt scare me so much, now the thought of going and talking to people of my own age or older with a similar or higher level of educational background in a respected institution, THAT scares me, although i know it shouldnt). Would i pretend i hadnt heard? Would i hide? (probably and probably) Would God ask me to do something that i was scared of doing? (maybe) Would God ask me to do something that He hadnt prepared me to handle? no, so why am i scared? If i know God will prepare me for anything He asks me to do, and i know He wouldn't ask me to do anything i couldnt do and i know God is in it and God created and looks after the whole of the universe .... why am i scared?
I think the reason is this - maybe its not God asking me to do it, maybe i'm wrong, how do i know? God doesnt get things wrong, but i do, i do a lot, i constantly let people down and dont live up to expectations, my report card on life could be 'tries but could do better'. Thats all i can do though ... try ... and ... ask for help,
Is is possible to ask for help too often from God?
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