The bad bits

Okay let me apologise before i start and give a kinda warning thing. I'm feeling really crappily low right now so this blog will probably not be the cheeryist you have ever read, therefore if you are currently in a good mood i'd suggest not reading it, i dont want to bum you out as well, thats just mean.

Now if you didnt heed that warning its your own fault if you get bummed out, im renouncing all responsibility. Im sitting in the LRC writing this because we dont have internet connection at the new house yet and probably more because Liams driving me crazy already and we've only been living there a day (and i didnt even stay the night, not because of that, more because of various car related issues) Yesterday was a long day of moving stuff and organising stuff and Liam breaking the door half an hour after we had moved in and discussing things with the landlord and such and i was running on all of about 2 hours sleep, oh and im extremely hormonal at the moment (thats probably the main reason for feeling so low but knowing the reason why you are low rarely helps you feel better it just makes you think 'great but i cant do anything to change that!') so when i finally got 5 seconds to myself (i guess Liam had been doing something important downstairs because he'd been following me around like a lost puppy all day, i really like having the openess in a house for everyone to have their doors open when they're in but when that means there is someone standing at the door all the time talking to you you have to think twice and start keeping it shut - sometimes even locked - all the time.) it all caught up to me and i started to cry. Anyway i texted Hilary because shes normally pretty cheery but that didnt really work, because she is brilliant at doing cheery when you're already high but ... well anyway then Barry came round to see the landlord (even though he isnt moving in until the 22nd) and that was brilliant, it was fun and happy and i guess its just so much better when theres more people around. When the landlord went Barry had to leave and i had to take my mums car back (it was pretty late by the time i got home and my mum was too tired to drive me back so i said id get the bus back in the morning and she was thankful). I think i got even less sleep last night, if any, and i didnt have any of my contact lens stuff with me so i was blind until i got back to the house this morning (it made getting the bus very strange, seriously im very short sighted, thank God for the 610 being a pink bus, because a pink moving blur is much easier to recognise). Anyway its been raining all day (of course its England) and i already have a cold so now sleepings going to be even harder. I realise im just moaning now, im sorry, i know im ungrateful, theres no 'but' here, i have no reason to be, God has been very good to me.

But on the brighter side of things Alice found my passport (it had been in her room .... dont ask me why) which is great because it means i dont have to get a new one but she had just given it to me and i was driving a car full of my belongings past an airport and it took quite a lot of will power not to just get on a plane to somewhere that isnt England (even Scotland looks pretty good right now and you know what i think of Scotland), to be fair im still contemplating it.
Anyway basically what im saying here is im really low, i think i might pack up a small bag and go back to my mums for a couple of days, i have to be there to work this weekend anyway. But im wondering if thats just a step backwards .... i dunno, maybe i should go to the doctors while im there because ive been feeling down a lot recently and thats not normal .....
:(