Wedding woes

Sitting around the dinner table on Easter Sunday my Grandmother says "Sophie, is cocaine called cornflakes in America?". Apparently Radio 4 had given her the impression it was. She was worried about ordering cornflakes at breakfast and being given a line on cocaine by mistake it seems. These are my wedding worries. Most brides turn into bridezilla because their flowers aren't the right hue, i'm worrying that my Grandmother is going to order cocaine for breakfast. My mum's biggest concern is what she will wear, whether people dress differently for weddings in America, she seems to think a Kansas wedding will be composed of people dressed in NASCAR t-shirts. Why on earth it would alter how she dressed if people were i don't know. My brother is too shy to give a speech but he is planning on giving me away wearing a top hat, a monocle and a pocket watch and swinging a cane. My older sister Amy is my Maid of Honour, she has been recruited to make sure everyone gets to America safely (slight role reversal of making sure everyone gets home safely after the reception), to give my aunt diazepam before she boards the plane so she doesn't freak out as the plane takes off, to prevent my cousin getting arrested at passport control and to wake my Nan up if she snores too loudly on the plane. My cousin Alfie seemed slightly dismayed when he found out i am moving half way across the world, he told me he was coming to my leaving party but in a way only an adorable four year old can he broke my heart when he asked me "but Sophie, why are you leaving us?". He had a tremendously great look of panic when he found out Alice was currently in China but total relief when i assured him she would be back soon.

Warts and all

After visiting Llandaff last weekend and looking after four very well-behaved children single handed i'm quite deludedly convinced we could look after one of our own without too much chaos. I also realized that a large proportion of what the Welsh say doesn't make any sense. They are very lovely people, helpful and kind but to say "i'll be with you now" and then walk off doesn't make a grain of sense. Luckily i have lived in Wales before so was not caught out by this, i was a little thrown when the Elliotts told me they would "be home in a moment" when they were quite clearly still in London (a 3 hour drive away), i guess they are adjusting to the lingo quite well. When in America i purposefully avoid using British colloquialisms, people just chuckle and ask what i mean or where the phrase originated from and the majority of the time i don't have the foggiest. However it's so ingrained in me that they often just slip out! At work a Polish woman asked "what does the phrase mean 'to hit a nail into my head'" which lead to a lot of confusion and laughter until it clicked that she meant 'hit the nail on the head'. I walk into the house and announce "Blimey it's Brass Monkeys out there!" or warn that someone is 'bent as a nine bob note' or 'all mouth and no trousers' and think little of it. Less frequently now, but on occasion, Weston looks at me with utter confusion, after he met my aunt she said she was sure he didn't understand 90% of what she said. However we did put the subtitles on whilst watching a British sitcom about a family of northerners when he hadn't even chuckled through the first ten minutes and our sides were splitting, they could have been speaking french as far as his Kansan ears were concerned. I dread to think of the misunderstandings that will arise at the wedding in July. Oh well, they'll have to accept me warts and all.

What matters?

I'm looking at the world wondering what the craziness is about. Weston and I are getting married in 196 days and apparently we should be stressing about this. It's essential that I figure out the accessories bridesmaids will have in their hair and the budget of these little things. Maybe I'm wrong but why? Don't get me wrong I am very excited about our wedding day but I'm even more excited about the rest of our lives. I'm not going to remember those little details, I barely remember what I had for breakfast. No I haven't spent today searching for the perfect invitation, they will find their way into the bin eventually anyway. I spent the majority of my day being there for a close friend who's dad took his own life. That's what's more important to me. I spent my evening writing to a soldier in Afghanistan. Maybe people won't say that my DJ was the best they had ever seen, maybe they will forever remember that actually he was awful and played totally inappropriate songs for half the evening or that we left it too late and just had a computer with a playlist of songs we selected running, it'll give people something I talk about and memories to pass on to our grandkids. But frankly is that the thing that's going to be important to me on July 21st ..... Nope. Let's keep things in perspective, if nothing else we can make other brides and grooms feel better about their big days. How we do with the actual life bit is more important to me than just the first day.

Christmas Traditions

Christmas traditions i hope Weston and I continue

Watching the Muppet's Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve, including singing "after all there's only one more sleep till Christmas day"

Leaving cookies and milk / a mince pie and sherry out for Father Christmas (I'm not sure who will eat it to keep the fantasy alive though ....)

Eating mince pies, Christmas pudding, delicious cheeses, variety boxes of chocolate, mini sausages wrapped in bacon and random other desserts such as Tunis cake, profiteroles, gateaux etc etc

Pulling Christmas crackers before eating Christmas dinner

Opening advent calendars and eating shaped chocolate pieces each morning

Getting socks for Christmas, after all everyone could do with more socks

Making Christmas biscuits and giving them to our friends

Trying to figure out what the presents are

Giving something really random, like the Elliotts soup randomness

Snuggling up under blankets and watching Christmas movies

Drinking egg nog and then remembering i don't really like it too much

Seeing everyones Christmas lights

I know they are silly and don't mean anything but i quite enjoy doing them, mostly i'd like to do something that matters at Christmas, lets face it none of this does, its greed and ridiculousness. What's the best way to give your time at Christmas? Helping feed the poor? helping your family and friends? giving money to charity? giving a goat to a far off family? Inviting a lonely person over for some company at Christmas time?

Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?

I love Weston. I do not love that i am so far away from him. I feel secure in the fact that he loves me too and that that influences his actions in life. I can see how hard he is working to get things sorted for our married life together, he amazes me really. I was speaking to God about this. I told him how much i love Weston and how my heart dances and i grin when i think of him, how horrendously difficult it is not to be able to be around him but how that makes thinking about the wedding and our lives together so so much more exciting. I was so depressed before, not knowing how or if we would ever get to be together but now i can see the end, we can look forward to it because it WILL happen, there is no doubt in it. I told Him how happy we will be together and how i feel like there is a part of me missing until i'm around him again. He gave me this kind of realisation, like He was saying imagine how it is for me then. I thought about it, God is giving me a very intimate insight into how he feels about being reunited with his people, He is, after all, the bridegroom, preparing the home for the couple, like the preparation Weston is doing at the moment, and all i can do is wait and prepare for what is ahead. Weston and I are only separated by an ocean but the distance and the time we have to wait to be with God for ever? A place of wholeness that you would never want to leave. Not being sure that that is going to happen brings the same depression i experienced, and the knowing? the same elation. My priorities are different now. I know there is no point buying things in England when i wont be here this time next year, why buy household items that i cant take with me? Well thats like God isnt it? Once you know the bigger story you know there is no point putting your efforts into hoarding earthly treasures, when you will be on this earth such a short time, you realise where your priorities really lie. I feel secure in God's love infinitely more than i do Weston's, i know He would (and did) die for me, and like Weston, i love Him so much that i would never want Him to do that for me. The expectation of being with God forever, for developing a deeper level of relationship and intimacy, never having to be apart from Him, I should feel these excited butterflies every second of the day.

I should point out the song at the top of the post, I sing the Plain White Tees song to Weston sometimes, it fits us quite well "they've got planes and trains and cars, and i'd walk to you if i had no other way" and "our friends will all make fun of us but we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way"

Quote of the day care of Marc
"hm... going to the corner shop and buying nothing but loo roll. I might as well have gone in and anounced: "Good day shop-keep, I need a poo!"
Made me giggle